Okay this is the point where I apologize again. I am so sorry.
I have had quite the roller coaster ride in the last few years (10+) and it has been a little much too keep up with.
It is a flying by the seat of the pants sort of thing.
I have been doing that.
It is a not having the feet on the ground kind of thing.
I have been doing that.
It is not knowing if my plans will work out.
I have no idea.
It is a feeling of being to old to make it work again.
Trying to ignore that.
It is a colapsing in a puddle because I have no idea what to do.
I get up and do something.
It boils down to a feeling of being not good enough and not being able to change things anymore.
Life has been too much for too long, I have been trying to remember myself before being beat about the body and head by it.
The self with happiness, the one with Joy, the with anticipation of the beautiful things and the expecting of them.
I have also started seeing and acupuncturist to help me with me stress.
Stress is about money for me, I pay for her, I will go when I need it, it has change my life. I honestly believe if I would have continued giving, and worrying, and panicking, I seriously think I might not be here today.
She SAW me, she asked what I did for a living and I apologetically said "I am an artist" and she said "What a Gift". Mouth wide open here. I have never heard that before. I will go to here until I feel I do not need to anymore. "When the student is ready the teacher comes"
Moral of the story-
Life is sometimes knowing that you do not know what the hell you are doing, even if you have been around a long time. It is a a place between Joy and Pain, it is a balance.
It is a remaining true to yourself and your beliefs when people are telling you different or you are "Hearing" different.
It is knowing you have friends and family that make that roller coaster of life a little more easy to live in.
Love is all there is.
And boy am I learning!
Love to you all
Me
I finally updated my web site. Have a look if life is not too much for you. And even... maybe if it is.
Http://www.mariesegal.com
I am on Facebook a lot
Http://www.facebook.com/mariesegal1
It is quick and easy, but I am pulling all of me together and miss my blog and you.
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At my daughters wedding |