Okay this is the point where I apologize again. I am so sorry.
I have had quite the roller coaster ride in the last few years (10+) and it has been a little much too keep up with.
It is a flying by the seat of the pants sort of thing.
I have been doing that.
It is a not having the feet on the ground kind of thing.
I have been doing that.
It is not knowing if my plans will work out.
I have no idea.
It is a feeling of being to old to make it work again.
Trying to ignore that.
It is a colapsing in a puddle because I have no idea what to do.
I get up and do something.
It boils down to a feeling of being not good enough and not being able to change things anymore.
Life has been too much for too long, I have been trying to remember myself before being beat about the body and head by it.
The self with happiness, the one with Joy, the with anticipation of the beautiful things and the expecting of them.
I have also started seeing and acupuncturist to help me with me stress.
Stress is about money for me, I pay for her, I will go when I need it, it has change my life. I honestly believe if I would have continued giving, and worrying, and panicking, I seriously think I might not be here today.
She SAW me, she asked what I did for a living and I apologetically said "I am an artist" and she said "What a Gift". Mouth wide open here. I have never heard that before. I will go to here until I feel I do not need to anymore. "When the student is ready the teacher comes" 
Moral of the story-
Life is sometimes knowing that you do not know what the hell you are doing, even if you have been around a long time. It is a a place between Joy and Pain, it is a balance.
It is a remaining true to yourself and your beliefs when people are telling you different or you are "Hearing" different.
It is knowing you have friends and family that make that roller coaster of life a little more easy to live in.
Love is all there is.
And boy am I learning!
Love to you all
Me
I finally updated my web site. Have a look if life is not too much for you. And even... maybe if it is.

Http://www.mariesegal.com
I am on Facebook a lot
Http://www.facebook.com/mariesegal1
It is quick and easy, but I am pulling all of me together and miss my blog and you.

At my daughters wedding

No, Donna you do not have to make another one, and more catch up

I am still having trouble with my back. My friend (sister like buddy) Meredith at MeredithArnold.wordpress.com (also comedian artist, tool junkie for people with bad hands, an amazing travel companion, artists in business advocate, and oh yea, Sharkie Sharks mom) suggested that I use ice for 15 minutes and then heat for 15 minutes.
A couple of times a day.
I had been trying both but not together in sequence. To my amazement, it is working, YAY!! Now that is a HUGE YAY!!! since I have been pretty much on my back for days. Hard to do when you have to chase a crazy and full of energy 17 month old around all day.

Not to mention that it does nothing for my I gotta make something all day long every day or go insane attitude on life. I have felt like a slovenly pig for days now.

Yesterday though, after one day with this regimen, I can move a little again and even type.

So if you have a back ache that feels like someone opened your back at the spine area and is rubbing aluminum wire (Think foil on teeth, yup, that is the feeling) over your spinal nerves and no matter what you do to get comfortable there is no position known to man that you can find to relax for more than a couple of seconds, you might want to try this.

Meredith, I love you and thank you.

It also gives me the chance to be able to connect with all of you again and even sit here and type something out. YAY Again!!! I have missed you all so much!
Able to even do a little shuffle like dance! Wooo whoooooooooo.
Life is incredibly good most of the time, isn't it?

UPDATE!!

I traded with Donna at So Dark, so cute a unzipped bat winged girl for an orphan.
I wanted it made out of polymer clay and she willingly obliged me.
Even though, she said she couldn't do it (HAHA!!)
I am thoroughly in love with my orphan and feel that I got the better end of this deal.
The texture and mottled look of the skin is wonderful and I adore the forlorn look on this girls face, Click on the picture for a larger view.
This is a pendant and she used my favorite colors, green, purple, and orange together.

Isn't she charming? Pretty darn good for some one that couldn't work with polymer clay, huh?
No, Donna you do not have to make another orphan (even though you should). I got mine. She is awesome and I LOVE her.
Donna also has a blog store on line. You want to see it, it is So Dark, So Donna Shop. Slightly macabre, slightly off center, and Oh so Donna!!

Thank you so much Donna for making my dreams come true!!

Also, I was lucky enough to win something from another wonderful blog buddy, Mother Moon.

I have traded with Mother Moon too! Her Jams and Jellies are unbelievable.
Homemade jams and jellies are something I have always wanted to do and learn.
I also enjoy them and love them, the taste is sooooo divine.
My grandmother used to do this and I love that time in my life, so it also brings warm fuzzies to my heart and mind. I would have taken a picture, lol, but those are long gone!

I love Mother Moon's wisdom too, she is an earth mother with a planet consciousness I admire deeply and would love to emulate more fully.

I received a sand dollar, and beach in a bottle with a beautiful box with beachy things on it.
So beautifully crafted with a thoughtful feeling to it also. This giveaway was celebrating her blog being a year old. Congratulations and I wish you many many more.
I am putting this next to my computer so I can go to the beach whenever I want and smell the salt air and feel the sand between my toes.

Thanks to all of you, my dear ones, in this week of unending back pain and crabby attitude that came with it. I smiled hard when these came in the mail and email.

Have a great weekend, my pretties, go out and get a little sun and see the beauty that surrounds you, feel the love that is in your hearts, and create something with no limits.
Play, dance, and hug yourself for me.
All is well, you are perfect.